Puggle Profiles

It occurred to me that I now have over 50 some posts on this blog and yet I have not once written about my dogs!  What about your wife? You might ask, well she can talk for herself, the dogs can not.  My lovely wife did contribute to my Oscar picks post a few months back, and I’ve been working on some other ideas for a collaborative topic we could work on together but she is a busy woman where as I have nothing better to do at the moment.

The two puggles in their terrifying halloween costumes

We have two puggles (that’s half pug half beagle for those who might not be down with the half-breed lingo) and they keep us regularly entertained with their shenanigans.  I decided the best way to introduce the world to my dogs is to write up some quick file cards for them, you know all the pertinent details and information which might be found in some secret data vault somewhere, or used by secret spies in their dossiers of notorious figures.  So without further ado, let’s crack open the secret puggle files and see what threats they pose to the international community!

Maple on the hunt . . . for people food

NAME: Maple Zombina Witsaman

AGE: 5 years

SEX: Female

WEIGHT: 25 lbs.

BIO:  Maple is the eldest of the pair of puggles in the house and undeniably the leader of the pack.  Maple enjoys her leisure time and is more than willing to spend a day sprawled out on any cushioned surface.  Her laid back nature should not be taken at face value however.  An athletic hound, Maple enjoys the outdoors and her long naps seem to super charge her energy levels.  At a moments notice Maple is ready to embark on extensive walks or to perform some serious sniffing around in the backyard.  Of the two puggles Maple is the most blood thirsty.  She views the small woodland creatures that reside in her backyard as godless intruders infringing on her liberty and she has been known to take drastic measures to push back against these wild things that dare show themselves in her presence.  To date Maple has a known kill count of 3, and her bloodlust doesn’t seem to have yet been quelled.  Though Maple enjoys regular playtimes and canine socialization, she prefers the company of people and will more often than not try to lounge with her human family members rather than Falkor or other dogs.

CODENAME: B-Grr, Kenny Doggins, Tiny Dog

SPECIALITIES: Sleeping, hunting, seek and destroy missions, chew toy demolitions

STRENGTH: 6

SPEED: 9

INTELLIGENCE: 8

FIREBLAST: 8

RANK: 8

"Puppy dog eyes" is Falkor's only expression.

NAME: Falkor Keanu Witsaman

AGE: 2 years

SEX: Male

WEIGHT: 23 lbs.

BIO:    Falkor is the youngest of the puggle pair and still has a great deal to learn about the world, thanks to Maple he is learning several life lessons the hard way.  Falkor is young, playful, and energetic.  If there is any opportunity to play Falkor will dive right in.  His constant prodding and goading often gets on the nerves of Maple, who generally wishes only to sleep.  When he does manage to agitate his comrade enough it usually erupts into a wild bout of chasing and barking throughout the house.  Falkor is not the brightest dog, and more than once his wild running and determined tail chasing have lead him straight into a wall.  Though Falkor is often curious he finds many new objects to be frightening and approaches them with measured caution.  Not gifted with the same instincts as Maple, Falkor has no interest in hunting and killing rodents he is more of a pacifist who prefers playful wrestling and chewing on animals of the plush variety.  Falkor is very friendly and enjoys meeting new and different dogs when he visits the dog park he literally has to be dragged away from the rest of the pack when it comes time to leave.  Though generally sweet and calm there was an incident early on when Falkor accidentally nearly bit through his master’s thumb as he overeagerly chomped down on a treat.  Just further proof that though puggles can look cuddly and cute, they should not be dealt with lightly.

CODENAME: B-boi, Dum Dum, Lee Min

SPECIALTIES: Rope tugging, bone chewing, evasion expert, poop eating

STRENGTH: 8

SPEED: 8

INTELLIGENCE: 5

FIREBLAST: 8

RANK: 7

So there you are those are my two ferocious puggles and as a bonus I leave you with this video I put together of one of their epic chase sessions!

That is all!

Rivals Playing Chess

So I have been following the promotional campaign for X-Men First Class because the movie intrigues me.  I was initially really looking forward to this X-Men prequel, then a few details were revealed and I thought it sounded kind of goofy, then they’d reveal a few pictures from the set and I was interested again, until they would show some footage which looked questionable and then I was off the wagon once again.  This has continued for some time now until I’ve reached the point where I am now, basically feeling that this movie will simply be whatever it has become.  Obviously it doesn’t stick to the comics, and they say it doesn’t necessarily stick with the previous X-Men movie continuity but at this point I am just looking forward to seeing this movie if for no other reason than to find out if I will actually enjoy it or not.

All of that not withstanding there is one image from the various promo shots that I really like, and that’s the picture of Xavier and Magneto hunched over a table playing chess.  I like this image for several reasons; First I think it captures the Professor X/Magneto vibe pretty well, Second it harkens back to X-Men 2 (best of the X-Movies) when the two rivals are playing chess in Magneto’s plastic jail cell, and third, and most importantly, it is simply a classically composed iconic image of two great figures caught up in an epic struggle of dark vs. light.  The archetypes of the black and white knights not only physically waging war but mentally and idealistically clashing as well, are ones that can add depth to characters without having to utter a single line of dialogue.  Of course this imagery has been used countless times in every genre and medium imaginable and though it is perhaps overdone and on the verge of cliché, I want to take this time to share with you some other images of other minds coming together over the chess board.  Behold this gathering of great rivals dueling it out on the checkered field of kings!  I start you off with the previously mentioned image from X-Men First Class!

Friday Funny Pages: Tears Of Doom

This panel is ridiculous.

The image comes to us from a tribute issue focusing on New York city which Marvel released shortly after the attacks on the World Trade Center and collapse of the twin towers.  The profits of the book were donated to aid organizations and to support those brave men and women who scrambled through that wreckage to rescue victims trapped underneath.  It was a noble gesture on their part, afterall Marvel is the comics publisher of New York.  The city itself plays a huge role in many of the companies biggest titles.  Within the Marvel universe New York is featured prominently and its skyline has taken on a unique likeness within the comic book pages.  I still remember my very first trip to New York city and being slightly disappointed when I realized there wasn’t really a Baxter Building among the towering sentinels that lined the streets.  I didn’t expect to see a giant 4 crowning a skyscraper but the New York city of the comics is written and portrayed with such conviction and familiarity I was convinced it had to be based on a real building.

It was no surprise then that Marvel, like the rest of New York and the country as a whole, took the 9/11 attacks very personally.  It was an attack on one of their own, the assault of an old friend, but even so much more than that.  The tribute issue they put together was well written and full of some very important, noble sentiments.  How the heroes of real life were people who were brave enough to risk their own lives to save others, how super heroes can’t always save the day, and how tragedies like this effect not only the victims and their families but any human observer who has the capacity for compassion.  The terrorist attacks that took place on September 11th 2001 were a terrible marker in American history and that day and the lives lost in those tragedies should be observed with the utmost dignity and reverence.

Taking all of that into consideration let me return to this panel, and state again that it is ridiculous.  I don’t hold any ill will toward Marvel, I don’t think showing Dr. Doom standing at the edge of ground zero crying is in any way disrespectful.  I can see what they were trying to do by having a notorious villain cry at the seemingly random destruction that took place there.  What I’m saying is it just doesn’t make any sense.  First off during his career in the comics Dr. Doom himself has probably done more property damage to New York city.  Second Doom isn’t even a U.S. citizen!  In fact he is a tyrannical dictator of a small eastern European country which has, at best, shaky relations with the United States and at worst open hostility.  Third Dr. Doom is a callous, cold-hearted dude, who has made back alley deals, committed murder, assassinated leaders, and literally made pacts with the devil to gain the powers he has, it’s safe to say that Dr. Doom only cares about Dr. Doom.

What I’m getting at is that showing Dr. Doom standing and crying at the site of ground zero is just laughable!  They might as well have drawn Hitler there too with a tear in his eye.  (Dr. Doom has access to a time machine, so that would be plausible within continuity.)  Marvel has so many other villains within their universe that they could have used which would have made more sense, villains who actually call New York city their home, like the Kingpin or Doctor Octopus.  Dr. Doom though just doesn’t make any sense to me, but what do I know?  Perhaps the writing team was stepping out of their normal roles in light of the enormity and consequences of the events and were simply aiming to show iconic Marvel figures reeling from the damage done to our nation and her people.

Just remember this:  Despite his tears, Dr. Doom still hates you.  Yes, you.

That is all!

Terrordrome Renovation 2011: Stage 6 (Terrordrome Sponge Bath)

Well the day has finally arrived, my G.I. Joe cleaning and restoration project has at last reached the final stage, that’s right the Cobra Terrordrome has been completely renovated and restored to its former glory! I knew that cleaning up the Terrordrome would be a considerable undertaking, but it proved to be more difficult than I imagined. Just by looking at the thing I could see it was a filthy mess, the compartments around the base of the Cobra headquarters and the circular command center at the top seemingly served as a great nesting ground for the rodents that made their home within the large cardboard box that stored the Terrordrome and the other Joe toys. Dust, debris, and blotchy brown mouse stains covered every part of the Drome of Terror. The real problem however wasn’t with how dirty the thing was, it was how huge it is! Originally I had planned to take the whole thing outside with a bucket of soapy water and the garden hose and clean it in my backyard. I nixed that plan however when the weather refused to cooperate and after about the third week in a row of rain my impatients and curiosity got the best of me and I decided to do what I could in the basin sink in my basement. Thankfully it worked out, but I had to do some serious wrestling with several of the wide, unwieldy sections of the Terrordrome in order to get them thoroughly cleaned.

Starting out I first completely disassembled the base, removing every wall panel and accessory that was still attached. After that I just made a few twisting maneuvers and was able to separate the top of the Terrordrome from the launch silo and the base. I was hesitant to take it apart completely; worried that it would be a pain in my ass to put back together. As I said earlier my first thought was that I would be able to just haul it outside and wash it down without having to completely break it down. Thankfully the base is designed in a fairly foolproof manner that makes it more or less impossible to put together wrong. The only concern was a few accessories that could be attached in various positions depending on your aesthetic.

Once the whole thing was taken apart the cleaning began. I started with the smallest parts first, the pie shaped retracting silo covers and the wall and door sections. Then came the dark blue ramparts that attach to the top of the base emblazoned with the Cobra insignia, they are actually some of my favorite features of the base. The large main turrets were cleaned in my initial wave of cleaning when I took care of all the loose guns and parts that were floating around in the bottom of the box, but the smaller rear turrets and the outer bay doors of the Terrordrome were taken care of this round.

Then it came down to the biggest sections, the top and the base. The top wasn’t too bad, after the cobra insignia ramparts were removed it was far more streamlined and fit easier into the basin sink, it was just a matter of turning it like a wheel and flipping it around in order to get it all cleaned. I abandoned most of my brushes which had served as my cleaning implements in previous stages, and took up a sponge that would be easier to work into the nooks and crannies of the Terrordrome’s varied layers. I suppose you could say I literally gave the Terrordrome a sponge bath.

That last part of the base, was the bottom with the launch silo still attached, together it barely fit into the sink enough to clean it. I had to wedge it in at an angle turning the faucet to one side leaving just enough room to be able to turn the water on and off and reach down to a small bucket of soap and water. It took a good twenty minutes to scrub that sucker down, twisting, pulling, shifting, lifting, and reaching around it in order to make sure it was spotless when I was done with it.

After that workout I decided to just leave it all out to dry and come back to assemble it later. When it finally came time to put the Terrordrome back together I was pleasantly surprised, as I said before it was fairly foolproof to reassemble. When it came to the minor details I was fortunate to have some of the original instruction sheets as well as the packaging images to refer to in order to figure it out.

Now that it is all cleaned up and reassembled it is a glorious sight to behold. The Terrordrome is a thing of beauty! They simply don’t make toys like this anymore, or else kids just aren’t interested in these kinds of things nowadays. This Terrordrome in particular is in great condition! Considering how much evidence there was of mouse activity within the Terrordrome itself there really wasn’t that much damage from the mice, not as much as there was with some of the other stuff. There are only few incidents of them chewing on the plastic parts, one of the turret seats have been gnawed on and a wall section has a few nibbles taken from it. The only other problems with it are minor ones, a few stickers in the wrong place, and two of the gun caps are MIA. With those few exceptions the Terrordrome is in surprisingly pristine condition and in fine working order.

But enough of me going on about the thing, take a look for yourself! Below are the pictures of the last of my cleaning efforts (click on the images for a larger version), but fear not this does not mean you won’t be seeing these G.I. Joe and Cobra toys again! I have been pondering what to do with these treasures and I have a few ideas in mind for a photography project that would make use of this stuff. In fact, there might be a clue within the pictures below as to what that project might be . . . . .

The base of the Terrordrome after being diasassembled

The various doors and walls of the Terrordrome

The top of the Terrordrome with Cobra insignia ramparts still attached

The base and launch silo in the sink mid-cleaning

Terrordrome in the process of being reassembled

It is complete! A fully assembled Terrordrome!

A shot from above, a chair for every computer terminal, and a computer terminal for every chair

Finally Cobra can get back to work terrorizing the world and the forces of G.I. Joe

There are three garage bays with deployable refueling stations

There are two smaller rear turrets that can swing out to fire on enemy forces, also pictured the launch lever for the silo

A prison cell for captured G.I. Joe forces, let's see them get past that "laser" gate!

The common area/ party room/ storage. This is where they have company birthday parties.

A closeup of one of the main turrets

That is all . . . . for now . . . .

Unsung Casualties Of Star Wars

     Oh hello there, welcome back.  I have finally returned with another, if not untimely, post!  I was out of commission there for a few days due to the aforementioned technical difficulties I was having with the ol’ computing machine, and as such I was not able to get this post up for the Memorial Day weekend as I had planned.  Better late than never right?

     Anywho, as you should know by now my all-time favorite movies are the Star Wars films, hell the name of my blog is derived from C-3PO’s dialogue from the movies.  I know the Star Wars saga inside and out, I have particularly great nostalgia for the original trilogy but I also appreciate the prequel trilogy and I certainly don’t offhandedly dismiss episodes I, II, and III as some others might.  As far as I’m concerned the two trilogies represent two very different eras and achievements in film making, not to mention two very different periods in one film makers career.  One thing that I think we can agree all six Star Wars movies do have are wars, after all it would be quite a deceptive title for a movie series without them.  As with any war or series of wars there are a great many heroes on both sides.  Star Wars is chock full of memorable characters who, due to their bravery, strength, tactics, or leadership have gone on to become cinematic legends.  We all know Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader.  Who could forget the Jedi generals and separatist commanders?  However those aren’t the folks I’m concerned about with this post, what about the other, lesser known heroes of Star Wars? Those soldiers who fought and died so that the better known big shots could continue the fight for the ideals and principles they believed in.  Those are the heroes I’d like to take a minute to remember, the unsung martyrs of the Star Wars saga.  Here are a few I think are worthy of mention:

Sometimes you get to pilot a fast ship, and sometimes you're dead.

NAME:  Tiree

HOME PLANET:  Corellia

RANK:  Pilot, point, Gold Squadron

CAMPAIGNS SERVED:  Corellia, Yavin

HOBBIES:  Making observations, painting, bird watching

PERSONAL INFO:  Tiree was a valued Y-Wing pilot set as point man for Gold Squadron over other more veteran members of the flight crew. Tiree flew during several skirmishes and was hand-picked to fly the Death Star mission. He was certified on both X-Wing and Y-Wing class fighters, though the Y-Wings are much slower, neither group really came out well from that battle now did they?

DEATH:  Electrocution from disrupted instrument panels after being hit by Darth Vader’s laser cannons. His ship later hit the Death Star’s trench
wall and exploded.

QUOTE:  “The guns. They’ve stopped.”

It takes a real man to apologize, a real dead man.

NAME: Lorth Needa

HOME PLANET: Coruscant

RANK: Captain, Imperial Star Destroyer Avenger, Death Squadron

CAMPAIGNS SERVED: Clone Wars, Coruscant Defense, Hoth

HOBBIES: Apologizing, being honest, claiming responsibility

PERSONAL INFO: Captain Needa had an outstanding career and participated in several crucial battles during both the Clone Wars and the Galactic Civil War including the battle of Coruscant where his ship directly confronted and prevented the escape of General Grievous’ Invisible Hand, the ship that held then Supreme Chancellor Palpatine captive. Needa was awarded several commendations and awards for outstanding service and his family had a proud heritage of military service. Unfortunately for him, awards and clean records can’t capture renegade rebel starships, or even grant him enough prestige for an on-screen death.

DEATH: Force choked by Darth Vader Execution for treasonous acts against the Empire.

QUOTE: “I shall assume full responsibility for losing them, and apologize to Lord Vader.”

Dyer should have installed higher safety railings for the Endor bunker.

NAME: Dyer

HOME PLANET: Ralltiir

RANK: Colonel, Imperial Army, Stormtrooper Corps

CAMPAIGNS SERVED: Bestine IV, Deep Space, Endor

HOBBIES: Giving orders, building and subsequently guarding installations.

PERSONAL INFO: Colonel Dyer was never one to play sports as a child, growing up on Ralltiir he was often teased about his inability to catch.  Given the nickname “Lamproid hands” in school (because Lamproids have no arms) Dyer eventually escaped such ridicule by joining the Galactic Empire, where his harsh discipline and desire to prove himself allowed him to flourish as a commander of an Imperial Stormtrooper detachment.  He was eventually given the prestigious honor of constructing and maintaining the shield generator on the forest moon of Endor.

DEATH: Knocked over a railing when hit with a tool box thrown by rebel general Han Solo. Fell into the bunker reactor core and was subsequently killed.

QUOTE: “Freeze!”

Sith Lords only like useful cowards, not nay saying recreants.

NAME: Daultay Dofine

HOME PLANET: Neimoidia

RANK: Captain, Droid Control Ship Saak’ak, Trade Federation

CAMPAIGNS SERVED: Clak’dor VII Trade Riots, Naboo blockade

HOBBIES: Worrying, backstabbing, wringing his hands

PERSONAL INFO: Heralding from a well established family, the Dofine clan has held prominent positions within the forces of the Trade Federation for decades. Daultay used his connections and political scheming to attach himself to the fleet of Viceroy Nute Gunray. Dofine was ascending to a position of power within the Federation until his worrisome nature and fear of the supernatural powers of the Jedi got the best of him. Apparently Sith Lords don’t take kindly to being seen as powerless against the Jedi, who knew?

DEATH: After being dismissed from Gunray’s inner circle Daultay Dofine was killed aboard the droid control ship when it was destroyed by some
kid in orbit over Naboo.

QUOTE: “I’m not going in there with two Jedi. Send the droid.”

Corde' had the distinction of not being Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, or Rose Byrne.

NAME: Corde’

HOME PLANET: Naboo

RANK: Handmaiden, Royal Security Forces

CAMPAIGNS SERVED: Naboo, Coruscant

HOBBIES: Wearing other people’s clothes, assuming identities, taking bullets, and feeling inadequate.

PERSONAL INFO: Although not officially members of the Naboo Royal Forces all handmaidens are trained in various small arms and hand to hand combat in order to protect the political figures they attend to. In the case of high-ranking leaders such as queens and senators that job description goes into working as public decoys. Some handmaidens assume the identity, characteristics, and mannerisms of those they are protecting, even impersonating their style of speech. Occasionally this of course means these decoys get snuffed by would-be assassins, which is somehow a failure on their part.

DEATH: Corde’ was killed in an explosion on a landing pad on Coruscant near the senate rotunda. The attack was aimed at Padme Amidala.

QUOTE: “I’m so sorry. I’ve failed you Senator.”

Don't talk to strangers kids, or people you know who suddenly have bloodshot yellow Sith eyes.

NAME: Sors Bandeam

HOME PLANET: Coruscant, Jedi Temple

RANK: Jedi youngling, Jakrab clan

CAMPAIGNS SERVED: Operation: Knightfall, Defense of Jedi Temple

HOBBIES: Coloring, tugging at heart-strings, naively trusting
others

PERSONAL INFO: Sors began his Jedi career as an infant. The majority of his early life was under the care and tutelage of the wise and powerful Master Yoda. Prior to the clone attacks on Coruscant Sors and his clanmates were beginning to learn about sensing the Dark Side and being aware of impending danger. Unfortunately they hadn’t completed that training module before the issuing of Order 66. When the chaos of the attack on the Jedi Temple started Sors and the other younglings of Jakrab clan were scooted off to the High Council chambers for safety, there only members of the Jedi Council would have access.

DEATH: Sors was brutally cut down with the rest of his comrades by the newly initiated Sith Lord, Darth Vader.

QUOTE: “Master Skywalker, there are too many of them! What are we going to do?”

     Well there you have it just a few of the nameless faces from the Star Wars saga I believe deserved some recognition.  Before anyone tries to start in on me, let me just say that I absolutely mean no disrespect to the real soldiers who have fought, and continue to fight, in wars around the world.  I am honored and have the greatest respect for the men and women of the United States armed forces and I don’t want anyone to accuse me of taking the Memorial Day holiday lightly, this is all in good fun.  I suppose you could say that I simply prefer my wars to be of the fictional variety where none have to actually die.  It’s nice to observe a struggle that I know has been choreographed purely for entertainment purposes and displays a black and white picture of good versus evil which simply doesn’t exist in the real world.

That is all!