Friday Funny Pages: Perseus Was Doing It Wrong

 

Today’s Friday Funny Pages is yet another submission from my good friend David Tavolier.

I have no idea where this comes from but as far as I’m concerned it speaks for itself.  I love it.  No other words need be written.

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Friday Funny Pages: Stake ‘Em With Mjolnir!

If you’re going to drive a stake into a vampire’s heart what better tool to use than the hammer of the Norse God of thunder, am I right?

Today starts a month of spooky themed Friday Funny Pages in honor of my favorite holiday, Halloween.  I was out doing yard work this morning in preparation for putting out my Halloween decorations.  I dragged everything up out of the basement and began the process of turning my domicile into a haunted house.  Afterwards I sat down and finally watched Francis Ford Coppola’s Dementia 13, a horror movie of some renown which up until this point has eluded me.  Needless to say when I sat down to write this blog I was in a very eerie Halloween-ish kind of mood.  As I briefly pondered on which image to use for today I came across this one and immediately ceased my search.  With a quick look at some of the others I have lined up I decided it’s going to be a Halloween themed month of Friday Funny Pages!  Hurray!

Ok so this image obviously comes to us from Thor #333 with art by good ol’ Bill Sienkiewicz.  Thor VS Dracula.  What more needs said?  I love Dracula in the Marvel universe he’s really established himself in the comics and has made appearances across the spectrum of big name Marvel titles.  Sadly I have never actually had the pleasure of reading this particular issue and if anyone sees it out there in the quarter bin pick one up for me!  I’m purely a fan of the concept of various heroes doing battle with the lord of the undead himself, Count Dracula.  I’ve always enjoyed the supernatural elements in comics and one of my favorite heroes, Dr. Strange, has had several encounters with Vlad Dracul, each of which have been an enjoyable read.

Hmmmm that gives me an idea about what I’m going to write about next week . . . . until then . . . .

That is all!

The GIF That Keeps On Giving

I love a good animated GIF.  I’ve been stockpiling links to GIFs that I’ve seen across the web so that I can share them in a blog post such as this.  In fact I was struggling with how to title this blog, titles like “GIF Wrapping” and “The GIF Of Gab” came to mind.  Then I thought about “Don’t Look A GIF Horse In The Mouth” or “GIF Of The Magi” Where I would rank the GIFs on a scale of frankincense, myrrh, and gold.  Ultimately I thought that would take too much time, so I just posted them without flourish.  I wish I knew the procedures to make my own GIFs because I’ve had a few ideas recently, but alas I’m forced to simply admire other people’s handy work as they post them in comments and forum discussions.  I’ve come across quite a few that make me chuckle with their hypnotically repetitive animations of absurdity but we’ll start with the few gems seen below!  Enjoy, and put them to good use!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Funny Pages: Don’t F#%K With Superman!

Superman.  He’ll rape ya.

As you can clearly see today’s Friday Funny Pages comes to us from Action Comics #457 the cover of which apparently shows Superman about to commit some sort of unspeakable act.  To be fair however there are some dialogue bubbles shown on the original cover (which have been blacked out here) that explain that this young boys dying wish was to know the secret identity of Superman, only to be extremely disappointed to find out he is just Clark Kent.  Regardless, there could have been a less creepy way of portraying it on the cover.

This now infamous cover is already familiar to many comic book fans who have had a good chuckle over the years from this awkward, and slightly uncomfortable, depiction of the man of steel.  About the only thing that could make this cover more disturbing would be to have Batman in the corner with a camera documenting the occasion.

Yikes.  Too far?  Perhaps.  I think I’ll stop there and just let you soak in this lovely image of Superman on boy action!  Enjoy!

That is all!

Anal Hook: The Road To Mindless Philosophy

So let’s do a little meta-blogging shall we?  I have enjoyed playing around with the statistical instruments that Word Press provides for all their blogs and I’ve especially been interested in what sources lead people to my writing.  As far as websites that lead people here, there are of course the usual suspects of Google, Twitter, and Facebook.  What’s even more interesting is that I can see the exact search terms typed which have lead people to my site!  This has turned up quite a mixed bag of phrases, some that were surprising, many which were to be expected, and a few that were just plain disturbing.  Also there were a great many that were misspelled, which can be amusing.  I’ll spare you from the entire list of search terms, which is fairly extensive, and just share with you those terms that I thought were the most amusing.  So here we are, take a look at some of the actual words that have guided people through the winding roads of the internet right to my blog!

Anal Hook  (I have no idea. . . . )

Kid Chameleon

Star Wars Booster Seat

Puggle Strength (I assume this is similar to retard strength)

Mindless Behavior Photos

Natalie Portman Sleeping  (Creepy)

Smurf XXX comics  (Why?)

Why Does Pressing On Upper Nostrils Feel Good

Dead Baby Jokes

Smurf Yourself  (52 people have found my site with this)

Babylon 5 CCG Rulings  (51 people have found it with this)

 

So there you go.  Some of these I understand, some I don’t, and some just make me wonder what kind of people are reading this.  Clearly stalkers and perverts are enjoying Mindless Philosophy, guess I’ve found my niche!  Hurray!

Anyway as a special little treat for all you loyal readers out there I’ve made a little Mindless Philosophy Search Terms Word Search for all of you to copy and print out at home!  Take a look below, the key follows!  Enjoy!

Click to enlarge! Then copy the image and print it out at home!

Find the following terms!

Anal Hook

Babylon

Behavior Photos

Blogs

Books

Booster Seat

Comic

Dead Baby Jokes

Five

Friday Funny Pages

Joshua

Kid Chameleon

Mindless

Natalie Portman

Nostrils

Philosophy

Puggle Strength

Sleeping

Smurf Porn

Star Wars

Witsaman

Word Press

 

This post will probably just make the search terms even more erratic now that I’ve actually written these things, but it should keep things interesting if nothing else!

That is all!

Friday Funny Pages: Don’t F#%K With Dr. Calvin Zabo!

. . . . and I believe it’s pretty self evident why.  This week’s panel comes to us from the Ghost Rider collection entitled Resurrected.  Written by Howard Mackie with art by Javier Saltares and Mark Texeira.  I’ve used this trade for several Friday Funny Pages already and I actually have a few more planned.  There’s just a lot of great stuff within those pages, Ghost Rider has always been a favorite of mine visually.  One of my favorite panels of all time, and I think one of my best finds for FFP, was the panel with the chalk outline baby.  Seen here!

This image of an old dude smashing a beer bottle over the head of some pool playing biker type while proclaiming the insufferable affront done to the personage of one Dr. Calvin Zabo, seems amusing to me as well.  First off the name, Dr. Calvin Zabo.  That’s the name of the bottle wielding gent in the panel.  It’s not really the type of intimidating nomenclature that sends the dregs of the night scurrying.  Secondly, the ol’ beer bottle to the head routine.  I love when someone gets clocked with some type of glass object whether it be a vase, bottle, jug, what have you.  That’s just funny to me.  Ever since I was young and learned that the glass bottles in movies were made from sugar, I just imagine it would be really fun to be involved in a scene where a lot of fake glass gets smashed across people’s faces.  Maybe that’s just me though?  Third, what’s this old bastard doing hanging out at some biker bar anyway?  Clearly he’s looking for trouble.

As many of you know I’m a huge Marvelite, make mine Marvel every time.  I’m a card carrying member of the Mighty Marvel Marching Band, and I pride myself on my Marvel knowledge.  However in the spirit of full disclosure I had no idea who this old man was when I was rereading this issue.  That’s partially why it stuck out to me, this old guy just hilariously goes ape shit on these thugs and I wasn’t sure why.  To be fair though, throughout most of the issue the good doctor doesn’t change into his alter ego, the murderous and more recognizable Mr. Hyde!  Now Mr. Hyde I know.  He’s been a staple of the Marvel villains C-List for decades.  To be honest however Mr. Hyde is not one of my favorites.  He’s not Marvel’s most original creation, and he’s not even really that interesting.  Transforming, drugged up on mutant growth hormones, he goes from an old balls douche with a pony tail to a super strong snarling Hulk wannabe.  Though now that I know who Dr. Calvin Zabo is, and I’ve seen him out at the clubs, I think I actually like him better than his super villain alter ego.

That is all!

Friday Funny Pages: This Is Why The Fantastic Four Movies Sucked

 

Answers at last to the nagging question of why the Fantastic Four movie and it’s sequel were train wrecks.  Namor the Sub-Mariner of course!  That dastardly demon of the deep was plotting yet another vile scheme!  This time his plan was to ensnare our heroes in a shitty movie deal, and keep them locked in so that they would be unable to rejoin the their friends in the unified Marvel Movie Universe, thus determining that they would never appear in a half way decent superhero movie!  But alas Prince Namor of Atlantis has not only struck this blow against the FF, but simultaneously trapped his rival, and occasional ally, Dr. Doom in this motion picture hell the likes of which is on par with that of Mephisto’s Realm!  Oh the horror!  The shame!  Is there nothing the Fantastic Four can do to escape this unspeakable prison?!?

Nope.  Probably not, there are hints of a Fox launched Fantastic Four reboot in the works, which means that Fox studios would be able to retain the FF rights for another decade or so.  By that time the chance for an FF flick from Marvel Studios and Disney may have come and gone, as much as I hate to say it the superhero movie craze can’t last forever and it might already be too late for Reed Richards and his cohorts.  Looks like we just have to chalk this one up to Namor, well played you water logged louse!

This panel of course comes from the earliest days of the Fantastic Four and was from one of their first few encounters with Namor the Sub-Mariner.  This issue was put together by the “My Two Dads” of many of Marvel’s characters, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.  It’s funny to think that at the time of this issues writing the idea of a Fantastic Four movie was a gag, but now that it has become a reality it is even more of a gag.  Oh well, my motto is let’s see what the next one turns out like!  (Or something along those lines.)

That is all!