Anal Hook: The Road To Mindless Philosophy

So let’s do a little meta-blogging shall we?  I have enjoyed playing around with the statistical instruments that Word Press provides for all their blogs and I’ve especially been interested in what sources lead people to my writing.  As far as websites that lead people here, there are of course the usual suspects of Google, Twitter, and Facebook.  What’s even more interesting is that I can see the exact search terms typed which have lead people to my site!  This has turned up quite a mixed bag of phrases, some that were surprising, many which were to be expected, and a few that were just plain disturbing.  Also there were a great many that were misspelled, which can be amusing.  I’ll spare you from the entire list of search terms, which is fairly extensive, and just share with you those terms that I thought were the most amusing.  So here we are, take a look at some of the actual words that have guided people through the winding roads of the internet right to my blog!

Anal Hook  (I have no idea. . . . )

Kid Chameleon

Star Wars Booster Seat

Puggle Strength (I assume this is similar to retard strength)

Mindless Behavior Photos

Natalie Portman Sleeping  (Creepy)

Smurf XXX comics  (Why?)

Why Does Pressing On Upper Nostrils Feel Good

Dead Baby Jokes

Smurf Yourself  (52 people have found my site with this)

Babylon 5 CCG Rulings  (51 people have found it with this)

 

So there you go.  Some of these I understand, some I don’t, and some just make me wonder what kind of people are reading this.  Clearly stalkers and perverts are enjoying Mindless Philosophy, guess I’ve found my niche!  Hurray!

Anyway as a special little treat for all you loyal readers out there I’ve made a little Mindless Philosophy Search Terms Word Search for all of you to copy and print out at home!  Take a look below, the key follows!  Enjoy!

Click to enlarge! Then copy the image and print it out at home!

Find the following terms!

Anal Hook

Babylon

Behavior Photos

Blogs

Books

Booster Seat

Comic

Dead Baby Jokes

Five

Friday Funny Pages

Joshua

Kid Chameleon

Mindless

Natalie Portman

Nostrils

Philosophy

Puggle Strength

Sleeping

Smurf Porn

Star Wars

Witsaman

Word Press

 

This post will probably just make the search terms even more erratic now that I’ve actually written these things, but it should keep things interesting if nothing else!

That is all!

Writing it is Easier Than Getting it Read. Nothing New About That.

So I’ve written a novel. That sounds pretty good. Sure. That’s a great deal of time and effort put into 230,000 some words of story telling. I’ve read, and re-read the pages several times, changing, editing, adding as I need to. Now however I am on the brink of the truly difficult part, figuring out what to do with it next. I have done some research online about a few different literary agents, but of course there is also a great deal of spotlight these days on self publishing and e-books and all that. There are other resources available as well such as creating an audio book on a pod cast and circulating the work that way. Here is an example of that: PodioBooks.com

http://www.podiobooks.com/

Frankly I’m leaning toward the agent route. It’s the traditionally best approach to take, most agents are also editors, which I think should go over the work with a fine toothed comb, and it just seems to make sense for me. I don’t have the resources, or connections to promote myself enough to do a self-published e-book and I don’t really have the time to create an audio book that might never be heard. I’d like to be able to get started on my next project while this one is in the hands of some professionals somewhere.

Now my biggest problem is that my current story has only been read completely by one other person, a friend, who had great things to say about it and a few helpful suggestions. I have another friend about half way through reading it, she’s actually doing some illustrations for me so she is taking her time and sketching and taking notes as she reads so it will be a little longer until she is through it all. My wife is a middle school teacher who is always under various time constraints. Although she is the best editor and literary critic I know, the last thing she wants to do with her free time during the school year is edit my work, essentially an extension of her work life, and I can’t blame her. I want her above all others to take a look at the writing, because I know she will tell it to me like it is, and let me know what’s good and what isn’t. She will get to it when she can, she is currently swamped with educating America’s future. I however am anxious to put things in motion! I have everything in place for submitting my work to an agent, cover letter, summary, chapter outline, finely tuned writing example, author bio, the works! All ready to print out and send in.

Oh and don’t get me started on printing things out, I thought it would be so much easier to just print it from home, I’d buy a brand new ink cartridge, a ream of paper, and I would be good to go. To make a long story short just go to kinkos or wherever and print your work out there. Cough up the $40 and make it easy on yourself. Trust me something will go wrong at home, and it will infuriate you AND it will all wind up costing more money in the long run.

The devil's tool

Anywho printing concerns aside, I feel stuck. I eagerly want to send this thing out there and get the whole process in motion, I want to do something more with this work I have done. While on the other hand, I am self-conscious and desperately seek some more test audiences for this thing, a bit more validation that it might actually be worth publishing, which I of course believe it is. Everyone is too busy, or unwilling to read it off a computer screen (which I don’t blame them) and I don’t have enough printed copies to go around. I’m very paranoid about handing it over to random people I don’t know and I really just want it into the hands of some pros who know more about the publishing industry then I do! Oh well, I’m sure I’ll figure something out.

As for now, that is all!