“Now we prepare! Prepare for war . . . . as we always have” With an orgy!
Hotchi motchi! Yes, let us prepare for war! This is how everyone should prepare for every war! I think there would be a lot fewer fatalities in all wars that follow such preparations. If you haven’t guessed by now this comes from a Wonder Woman comic, from which issue exactly, I’m not sure. It doesn’t really matter. I’m guessing this isn’t actually supposed to be portraying a lesbian gang bang, rather it’s supposed to be some sort of sporting wrestling practice. Honestly though, look at those two in the foreground, that doesn’t look like any wrestling moves I’ve ever seen.
This panel immediately brings up two thoughts: 1) How do Superman and Batman get anything done while this place exists. and 2) I really want to start a series that features Blue Beetle (Ted Kord) and Booster Gold dressing in drag in an attempt to gain access to the training grounds of the Amazons. An. Entire. Series. It would be fantastic. It would be like Bosom Buddies, but with superheroes.
Batman and Robin. There are countless homosexual innuendos that spring up surrounding this dynamic duo, everyone has heard them before. Sure it’s amusing, and some people prefer Batman without Robin because it prevents such awkward moments from cropping up in the comics. Personally I’m a big fan of a Batman with Robin, I like Batman to have that youthful counterpoint to his brooding aged pessimism. Generally Robin is a little more easy going and provides a bit of comic relief to the stark, grim nature of Batman. Of course that comparatively jovial tone can be over done, and when taken too far Robin becomes annoying. It all really depends on the writer, and which version of the Boy Wonder is being portrayed. Overall though I like to see the one two punch of Batman and Robin taking out a villain. The partnership creates the possibility for more complex story telling and allows the character of Batman to execute more dynamic crime fighting maneuvers.
Now, about this panel. I really don’t know what the hell is going on here, but this is one of the most awkward panels I have ever seen. I would like to thank David Tavolier for submitting today’s image. As soon as I saw it I knew it was perfect for Friday Funny Pages. There are several things that are disturbing about this. 1: Shirtless Robin. What was just going on here? 2: Batman in full gear. When you put Batman in his full costume in front of a shirtless boy it just gives off a creepy vibe. His costume ceases being a superhero disguise, and suddenly seems more like some kind of S&M suit. 3: Batman has “experience.” Hand on the shoulder, leaning in saying, “If you want to talk to someone who’s had experience in that area . . . ” Yikes! 4: Robin is peering into your soul. The Boy Wonder’s direct eye contact with the reader is unsettling. Is it perhaps a cry for help? 5: This image wasn’t questioned. I mean, come on! The artist drew this panel and didn’t think, Hmmmm this might come off wrong? I’m convinced they knew what they were drawing, they knew I needed a good Batman rape scene to go along with my Superman rape scene from a few weeks back. So thanks for that, and thanks for providing more fodder for the Batman/Robin gay joke extravaganza!
As you can clearly see today’s Friday Funny Pages comes to us from Action Comics #457 the cover of which apparently shows Superman about to commit some sort of unspeakable act. To be fair however there are some dialogue bubbles shown on the original cover (which have been blacked out here) that explain that this young boys dying wish was to know the secret identity of Superman, only to be extremely disappointed to find out he is just Clark Kent. Regardless, there could have been a less creepy way of portraying it on the cover.
This now infamous cover is already familiar to many comic book fans who have had a good chuckle over the years from this awkward, and slightly uncomfortable, depiction of the man of steel. About the only thing that could make this cover more disturbing would be to have Batman in the corner with a camera documenting the occasion.
Yikes. Too far? Perhaps. I think I’ll stop there and just let you soak in this lovely image of Superman on boy action! Enjoy!