My Most Anticipated Geek Movies Of 2012

Finally I return to my dear sweet Mindless Philosophy after several weeks away being lazy and engrossed in new video games.  The holidays are over now, a new year is here, and I really have to get back into my writing routines!  So no more silence and inactivity from me, you will now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational blog!

As the title of this entry suggests I’ve decided to start this new blogging year off with a quick list of some of the movies I am most looking forward to in 2012.  It looks like this is going to be another banner year for movies of every sort, but for the purposes of this entry I’m just going to focus on the films that have a geekier bend to them.  You might remember the poll we had a few weeks back which asked you the readers what you wanted to see more of here, one of the most common answers was more movie stuff.  Well here we go!

My Most Anticipated Geek Movies Of 2012

Click the titles of each movie to see the trailers

(In no particular order)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I don’t think I really need to explain why this movie is on this list.  The works of Tolkien are unparalleled writing and are the epic standard for an entire genre of fiction.  The Lord of the Rings movies met that challenge by turning the classic trilogy into a triumphant cinematic experience, a feat that supposedly couldn’t be done.  However Peter Jackson accomplished it.  Finally now, after many years of waiting we are returning to the beginning.  For a long time things looked grim for the production of the Hobbit, budget cuts, studio infighting, and the departure of Guillermo del Toro as director made me think that this Hobbit duology would never see the light of day.  Thankfully I was wrong.  Peter Jackson was forced to step out from a more passive producer role and back into the directors chair for this set of sure-to-be-epic Hobbit adventure films, and though I regret not getting to see Middle Earth through del Toro’s eyes there should be a pleasant familiarity with these new movies and the hulking trilogy of awesomeness we already have.

Prometheus

I. Love. Ridley. Scott.  The aesthetic of his films is what I wish my life looked like, in particular I would love to live among the world of Legend and/or Blade Runner.  Of course we can’t forget about Alien which leads us to this movie, Prometheus.  This has been a enigmatic and secretive project and information about it has been slow in coming.  When it first came out there were rumors that it was an Alien prequel, then there was talk that it strictly had nothing to do with Alien, followed by a concession that maybe it did have a little to do with Alien but was not a direct prequel per se.  Ok so this movie is secretive, highly under wraps, and takes place in the Alien universe?  Count me in.  PLUS they’ve let it be known that the crew that we see in the trailer is essentially on a mission to find the origin of life in the universe when they stumble upon some weird ancient planet and a bunch of crazy shit goes down.  Sure, let’s do this!

The Dark Knight Rises

Come on, it’s the last of the Nolan Batman movies, who isn’t going to go see this?  Sure I’ve heard some shit talked by the fanboys about the strange look of Bane, how Cat Woman and Bane were bad choices for this final installment, and how it will be damned near impossible to outdo any aspect of the Dark Knight.  Heck, I even share in some of these worried sentiments but honestly I have incredible faith in Christopher Nolan, he has yet to disappoint me as a director.  I don’t hide the fact that I’m not a huge DC comics fan.  I mean I do like some DC Animal Man, Green Lantern, Blue Beetle, and the entirety of the JSA are some of my favorite characters of all time, but when it comes to movies Marvel has the superhero genre on lock down.  Batman is DC’s cinematic golden boy and he has been doing a hell of a job and if half the rumors I’ve heard about The Dark Knight Rises are true, we’re in for one hell of a last ride!

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Ok so what was it I was just saying about Marvel movies?  So yeah remember the first Ghost Rider movie, it was kind of meh.  Personally I didn’t think it was as terrible as everyone likes to make it out to be, but it did suffer from terrible villains which I think can really cripple any superhero flick.  If the villains aren’t cool and interesting the movie isn’t going to be cool and interesting.  Others like to put the blame on Nic Cage but I refuse to back down from my love for Nic Cage.  I could watch that crazy bastard work his magic through any movie.  Personally I think he is a perfect fit for the over the top premise and insane continuity of the Ghost Rider.  This new Spirit of Vengeance looks like it has really taken off in a different direction from the first one, which I am incredibly thankful for.  Ghost Rider is far too cool of a property to simply die out after one mediocre attempt.  The trailer for the sequel has promise, I can’t say whether or not the movie will be good but it seems to have fixed the villain issue, and appears to be chock full of crazy action sequences making use of the Ghost Riders hell granted mystical powers.  So there’s that at least.

The Return of the Killer Klowns From Outer Space in 3D

The Killer Klowns From Outer Space was one of the first cult horror movies I ever really got into.  As a kid I remember watching it as the afternoon movie on one of the local stations (when such things were still done) and being immediately hooked, fascinated by the sheer oddity of it.  That movie was ridiculous, creepy, weird, and hilarious all at the same time.  Nowadays of course it’s mostly just hilarious, although those alien clowns still hold up as pretty creepy.  As of now there is hardly any information on the production of this movie or any solid timeline for its release.  Personally I will be standing by anxiously anticipating any further tid bits about this zany sci-fi horror sequel.  If you are not familiar with the Killer Klowns I suggest that you find a copy of the first film and take some time to sit down and study the glory of it so that you will be caught up and ready for their return in 3D!

The Avengers

Iron Man.  Captain America.  Thor.  The Hulk.  Need I say more?  In a similar way that folks once said that the Lord of the Rings books could never be made into a movie, people also commented that a big superhero team would never see the big screen.  Over the years both of the big comic book publishers dealt licscencing agreements to dozens of media production outlets for most of their biggest characters which often lead to conflicting visions and interests for the characters and any future film projects.  This meant that it was essentially a legal and logistical nightmare to ever get multiple characters on the same screen at the same time.  Now however here we are.  Marvel has their legal house in order, they opened their own movie studio, and they’re finally putting their heroes to work only now they’re making them work together!  The day is quickly approaching, a movie that has been years in the making taking a deliberate cautious path in order to get all its various elemental parts put together in a solid working order and we are just a few short months away.  The reason I am confident in this movie is because Marvel has really taken the time to find the people with the talent and quality needed to put the precursor movies together right.  They haven’t been afraid to choose atypical choices, individuals who are not versed in superhero/action movies, and I think that has really paid off well.  I can’t wait to see this movie, and like the Dark Knight Rises, there are a maelstrom of awesome rumors swirling around about what surprises await us in this epic comic book adaptation!  We’ll just have to wait and see!

Finally here are a few others that I’m interested in, but don’t really know enough about to comment on at this time!  For a more extensive list of movies coming out in 2012 check out this LINK to movie insider.com!

Other 2012 Movies!

Dorothy of Oz

Dark Shadows

Jack the Giant Killer

G.I. Joe:  Retaliation

Hotel Transylvania (Directed by Genndy Tartakovsky)

That is all!

People I Know: Jason Lemmon

This interview you are about to read has been the most difficult of the People I Know interviews to edit thus far.  There are several factors to this, one of which was my recent 100th Post post which surprisingly put me under a lot of pressure to perform.  Secondly it seems that these past few weeks have been hell-bent on doing everything they could to delay any and all progress I tried to make on posting this interview.  And thirdly the words of Jason E. Lemmon are not easily condensed down into a manageable blog length format.  It proved to be quite a struggle and some of his concise wisdom had to unfortunately be cut so that other gleaming Lemmon nuggets could shine through.

But who is Jason Lemmon you may be asking yourself.  He is an enigma.  A man of humor, yet a connoisseur of some of the most finely crafted dramatic works.  Jason seems to be an individual who stands alone, thinking for himself yet often can he be found in the company of throngs of his friends.  An individual of deliberate speech and mercurial wit.  Prepare yourselves for a glimpse into the mind of this one, this only, Jason Lemmon.

Joshua:  First of all Jason, thank you for sitting down with me here today for this interview.  I’ve got some hard-hitting questions, I hope you’re ready.

Jason:  I am.

Joshua:  Good.  Starting off I know you’re going back to school now, so what are your goals currently, in life?

Jason:  My goals.  Well I’m going to college to be a math teacher for high school.  But I have a lot of different goals.  I mean are you talking like bucket list type goals?  Or just like what I want to do with my future?

Joshua:  Well let’s say, what’s your five-year plan?

Jason:  Five year plan, ok.  Well three and a half to four and a half years of that is college so . . .

Joshua:  (Laughing)  Let’s go seven year plan . . .

Jason:  Seven year plan, ok.  So then with the extra three years then, I hope to find a job.  Although I’m not sure if I’m going to relocate or not, and find a person that I regularly have sex with.

Joshua:  Those are some good goals.  That’s three years, you should be able to do that.

Jason:  Well it gives me seven years for the girl, because that could happen during college.  The teaching job probably won’t happen until I get the degree.

Joshua:  True.  That’s true.  And so it would definitely be a girl though that you’d regularly be having sex with?

Jason:  Um, I mean as of now that is all that I’m open to.  But if I were to find a man who overpowered my erotic senses then I guess I would make the exception.

Joshua:  Now Jason, you are a naturally funny person, humorous I mean.  Who are some of your favorite comedians of all time?  And, in the same answer, who are some of your favorite current, or newer comedians?

Jason:  Well my inspiration in comedy was always George Carlin.  It’s unfortunate that he passed away especially with some of the stuff that’s happened in the last few years.  I would have loved to see his point of view on them.   That’s like the easiest answer by far.  And then modern-day, Louis C.K. has honestly gone up, I love him almost as much as I love George Carlin because I find Louis C. K. to be one of the funniest men alive.

Joshua:  Have you watched his show, the new one, Louie?  I’ve only seen a couple of episodes but I enjoyed it a lot.

Jason:  It’s a great show, it still doesn’t surpass his standup, but it’s still extremely funny.  You know he had an old sitcom that was canceled very quickly, but it was on HBO, called Lucky Louie.

Joshua:  I remember hearing that name, I never saw it though.

Jason:  And of course, just the other day my roommate and I watched Pootie Tang, which was written and directed by Louis C. K.

Joshua:  What??  No.  Are you serious?!  I had no idea!

Jason:  It’s true, yeah.  He was the sole writer and sole director of Pootie Tang.

Joshua:  No way!  That . . . blows my mind.  Really?

Jason:  Go watch that movie again, and you’ll have a completely different perspective of it.

Pootie Tang: Written AND Directed by Louis C. K.

Joshua:  Wow.  I’m going to have to do that.  You have blown my mind here today.  That’s fantastic.  But staying with the topic of comedians here for a moment, what in your opinion makes a good comedian?  And what makes a bad comedian?

Jason:  I think half of it, a good 50% of being a good comedian, is just presentation alone.  Because you can take hilarious bits and make them not funny at all just by presenting them wrong.  And vice versa, you can say things that aren’t even regarded as humorous but somehow you deliver them in a funny way.  So yeah I’d say 50% right there is that.  And then the rest is just split up into stuff like coming up with jokes that people can relate to, things that people don’t talk about often but everyone experiences.  You’ll almost always hit the mark with stuff like that.  If you can hit on taboo subjects, I mean I guess part of being funny is having balls.  Being able to say things some people will hate you for, but a lot of people will find you hilarious for.  And again an easy way to suck would be bad presentation.  Also if 90% of your material is stolen, that usually isn’t funny.  So that’s why I hate Carlos Mencia.

Joshua:  Who are some other comedians that you hate?

Jason:  Um, Dane Cook.  Although I used to love him actually.  When he first started, I thought Dane Cook was absolutely hilarious.

Joshua:  Lauren and I were talking about this exact thing recently.  We were saying that it seems like it was very quickly that everyone went from really liking Dane Cook, to suddenly everyone hates him.  We were trying to figure out the reasoning for that.  I said because I think he got real cocky, after he got successful.  After he got successful, it just seems to me that he got really cocky and really lazy.

Jason:  I think you’re right on, because I think he started off as some guy doing something completely weird and odd, you know?  He was  just being who he was, and it was funny.  But then once he became really popular he let if all go to his head and now what he is doing is no longer weird and out of the normal but it’s really cool and badass and so he just started to act like he knows that now.  His performances come off now as him overdoing everything.  It just seems like a lot of his jokes where he took them too far wasn’t anymore because they were funny, but because he just knew that’s what everyone reacts to.  He just lost a lot of the humor, again I guess it goes back to presentation.  He just presented things differently after he became famous.

Joshua:  Now you’ve done some stand up right?

Jason:  Just very little, locally.

Joshua:  Yeah, but go into that a little.  What was that like for you?

Jason:  It was actually a pretty great experience, I probably performed for 15 people total, and 9 or 10 of them were friends and family.  But it was still really fun.  I mean it’s not exactly what you expect once you get up there, and no matter how confident you are you’re nervous as hell once you’re on the stage.  It was a really good experience and I actually wish I would have gone on with it more and in the past four months or so I’ve started writing stuff down to possibly get back out there.

Joshua:  Really?  That’s awesome.  That’s fantastic, I hope you do.  I would be interested to see what you have to say, it’d be good.  Continuing with comedy a little bit more, there’s the old practical joke with the bucket full of water over the door.  Person opens the door, water pours down on top of them.  So recreate that joke, but instead of water what would you put in the bucket?

Jason:  Well a funny thing is I’ve done almost this same joke, but I did use water.  Once when I was in high school I paid a kid to mow my lawn while my mom was at work because I was supposed to mow the lawn.  While he was doing this for me, he was almost finished, and while he was mowing down the side of my house I went out on the roof and dumped a bucket of water on him.  Which I found hilarious.  He didn’t because he was in the middle of doing me a favor.  Granted I had to mow the rest of the lawn, but I only paid him part of what I originally was going to because he didn’t finish mowing my lawn.  So . . .

Joshua:  It was a win/win.

Jason:  Yeah that’s fair right?  Anyway though to answer your question, since I didn’t do that.  Obviously there are plenty of inappropriate things that I would love to put in that bucket such as semen, or something like that.  Usually just the phrase “bucket of semen” is pretty funny.  One of my big things though is that the joke needs to be funnier then it is going to piss the person off, and I think that would be about as mad as you could make someone.

Joshua:  Yeah I think that would do it.

Jason:  But if I were going to really fill it with something . . . this is a tough question.

Joshua:  It is.

Jason:  It would always be fun to put the oil in there and then blow feathers on them, but that’s only because it’s so clichéd it would make me laugh.

Joshua:  And if you could actually arrange for that to work in real life, like get the feathers to blow on them and have it all work out, that’d be great.

Jason:  Yeah it would be great because you would have just perfectly reenacted the oldest cliché in comedy.  But I have always thought that cottage cheese was really funny.  I know when I was younger I used to say that I always wanted go swimming in a pool of cottage cheese.  It just seems like such a random substance.  But the more I’ve actually been talking about that, the more I’m actually now thinking in my head, creamed corn.

Joshua:  Creamed corn?  That’s a good one.

Jason:  So either creamed corn, or the blood of a recently murdered victim.

Joshua:  (Laughing)  Yes, both good answers.  Good, good.  Alright now moving on.  I know you’re an avid reader.  Who are some of your favorite authors and are you reading anything currently?

Jason:  My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut Jr., he’s my favorite author because he has my favorite book, I mean all his books are great but my favorite book is Breakfast of Champions, or Goodbye Blue Monday.  I also really like Chuck Klosterman a lot.  He used to write for Spin magazine, and now he’s got a bunch of journal books out and two novels, although the first one sucked.  But the second one sounds really interesting.  I’m technically currently in the middle of another book, although I’ve forgotten all about it and haven’t read it in probably three months.  I was in the middle of the Handmaids Tale, it’s very good.  As far as comedy writing, Chuck Klosterman is pretty funny.  I read all of George Carlin’s books, obviously.  I guess when I read, for some reason I lean a lot more toward serious drama.  There’s a book that was incredibly good, that I can not think of the title of . . . . but I highly recommend it.  I own it even, and it is amazing.  So read that.

Joshua:  (Laughing)  Alright, I’ll have to check that one out!

Jason:  There’s a great book called the 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear and it’s like kind of a kids story but it’s written more for adults.  It is fantastic.  No one has ever heard of it, but I always recommend it.

Joshua:  You may have told me about that before.

Jason:  Oh did I?  I may have.  Well now it’s on record that I recommended it to you.

Joshua:  What would you say has been the best movie/book adaption of all time?  That you’ve seen at least.

Jason:  That’s tough.  Right away Fight Club comes to mind, because it’s so popular for being, the movie that was better than the book.  At least in my opinion, and many others.

Joshua:  Which is like the rarest of things.

Jason:  Yeah.  But that’s such a cliché answer I don’t want that to be my answer!  Let me think a second here . . . . my problem is all the books I read are books that weren’t changed into movies, or were changed into way, way worse movies.

Joshua:  Ha!  Yeah.

Jason:  Honestly, I think the Shining is better than the book.  Although its nothing like the book, they’re so far apart they’re almost two different things.  I don’t mean it to be insulting but by changing so much I think they even improved it.  I mean the book’s not bad but . . .

Joshua:  I’ve never read the Shining.

Jason:  It’s okay.

Joshua:  Well I don’t think you have to worry about that criticism, I’m pretty sure Stephen King doesn’t read my blog.

Jason:  Ummm . . . . I’m gonna have to say Fight Club.

Joshua:  Oh?  Good answer, good answer.  I’ve never heard that one before.  Now, as a big movie buff Jason, quickly off the top of your head:  Favorite director of all time, favorite movie of all time, and favorite genre of movies.  Go!

Jason:  This is actually really tough.  I really hate this question.

Joshua:  Good I like to ask questions people hate.

Jason:  I like Todd Solondz a lot because his movies are kind of weird and unique.  Honestly though I’d probably have to say Darren Aronofsky is my favorite director, if I had to choose one.  His movies are crazy, they’re always good, and he’s just unique I guess.  It seems like everything he puts out is something that you’ve never seen before and I mean it’s amazing to see one director doing that because Hollywood itself can’t even do that.  So I’d definitely go with him I guess.

Darren Aronofsky: Better than the entire Hollywood collective.

Joshua:  And can I just interject here about how disappointed I am that he’s not directing the Wolverine movie, because that would’ve been just the craziest fucking thing ever.

Jason:  Yeah that would have been insane, I was interested when I first heard that.  Now the next Wolverine movie is just going to be as good as the first one.  But now for favorite movie of all time?  Again this one is really tough just because it gets updated all the time.  Actually I do have one answer to that I just always give because it’s always up there, and that’s Johnny Dangerously.  I have always thought that movie was absolutely hilarious, I don’t know, it’s one of my favorite movies.  For it’s time it’s absolutely fantastic.  It’s very ballsy for its time, had a lot of jokes that people considered risqué.  And Roman Moroni is such a great character too.

Joshua:  And what is your overall favorite genre of movie?

Jason:  Genre, is probably the hardest one to answer.  I mean I love to watch comedies, but the thing with comedies even though this completely goes against what I just answered, is that none of my favorite movies come from comedies (other than my absolute favorite movie).  But I mean when I list my top ten favorite films of all time, it’s almost all drama and maybe a little bit of thrillers, but drama always has a huge role.  It seems like when you get into sci-fi or comedy those are genres that aren’t going to have a top film unless it’s like epic, it has to be absolutely amazing.  Whereas drama, because they involve so many emotions you just have to make a really good film and then on top of that everyone is emotionally involved and therefore it feels like an even better film.  So I think that’s why those always lead, dramas kind of rule my favorites.  But I think that horror and comedy are my two favorites to watch, they’re the most fun.  And when the two mix, it’s fantastic.

Joshua:  So Jason very quickly if you can, and this may be a difficult request, summarize what you think the biggest problems are with modern Hollywood and the movie industry.

Jason:  I don’t know what’s wrong with movies, honestly, in reality it’s more the audience.  The fact is Jack and Jill made money.  The only movie that beat the Muppets at the box office, which is a classic comedy, the Muppet movie was witty, everything was genius about that movie, and the only movie to beat it and destroyed it this weekend, was Twilight.  You look at the popularity of certain movies and you start to realize that they are going to continue to make shit, because everyone’s eating this shit up.  So unfortunately I think for there to be a real significant change in how well movies are written and made we’re going to have to actually see people starting to put the better movies up top and not watch the shit.  I don’t see that happening.

Joshua:  Earlier today we were talking about blogs, and you mentioned your movie blog and you have My Blog Skip.  What do you like to write about on your blogs in general, and why do you write blogs?

Jason:  I started My Blog Skip because in the past I’ve had multiple blogs here and there I had Who Let the Blogs Out for a little while, but I just enjoy writing and sharing things that I find interesting or funny.  But every time I made a blog I would just lose interest and not really care so I decided to start again, go at it one more time with My Blog Skip.  At first I was pretty successful and I think my favorite thing that I wrote, and I only did like three of these, was called Saturday Cinema Showdown where I just took two movies and basically made it sound like they were fighting in a boxing match, but really I was just rating which one was better than the other.  I really enjoyed it but I put so much time into those blog entries.  The photoshopped images alone would take me an hour just to get those looking correct.  I put so much time and effort into it and I didn’t really have any readers at that time, like I had two or three friends who read it so as much as I enjoyed it, and it’s not even that I didn’t appreciate the few that did read it, it’s just that I lost interest without even thinking about it.  I stopped writing them.  I realized suddenly I’m two Saturdays behind and then I kind of just left that.  Then I think becoming a member of Reddit was a big help because I started seeing funny things all the time, so then I would post those sometimes.  Then it became a pretty generic blog where I’d barely write but I would post things all the time that I would find funny.  I’m glad I still have that but just recently I realized I still wanted to be writing, that was the whole purpose of even starting it, I wanted to get back into writing.  My one friend actually started a cooking blog on called Through the Cooking Glass on Tumblr, and I was asking her about that.  I was saying ‘what made you decide to write this’ and she said ‘I just wanted to write again and since I love cooking, that would be a good way to focus on the writing’.  Then I realized that was my mistake I’ve been trying to come back to writing in general, nothing specific, and I realized that maybe if I focus specifically on something I love, which movies are the big thing, that I’d find it easier to write more often.  Then I created Movie On Up, and from there I’ve been pretty successful so far.  I’ve posted seven posts, and this has only been just over a week.  But that’s why I started it though, it’s all been trying to get back into writing and this time I found specifically if I focus on this category, that’s the way to do it.

Joshua:  Yeah, that’s why I started interviewing people, and started this whole People I Know segment.  I know a lot of interesting people so why not just write about them, instead of trying to think up something to write about.

Jason:  I was actually pretty jealous whenever you started posting these because it was an idea I thought was good enough that I wished I’d thought of it.

Joshua:  Wow.  That’s a very high compliment actually, thank you.  But now I’m going to completely change the subject.  There was a quest we were on at one time and I can’t remember if we’d ever discovered this or not, but your birthday falls on John Stamos’ birthday.  My birthday is the same as Bob Saget’s, and we were hoping to find another of our friends who had Dave Coulier’s birthday.  Did we ever find anyone with Dave Coulier’s birthday?

Jason: We never did find anyone with Dave Coulier’s birthday.

Joshua:  Because I thought at one time you said that you had found someone who shared his birthday.

Jason:  Actually I feel like there was a point where I thought ‘oh my god, that’s the birthday!’, but I don’t think it was a friend or anyone, I don’t think we ever found someone who we could talk to or hang out with.  Do you remember what the birthday is?

Joshua:  It is September 21st.  Dave Coulier’s birthday is September 21st.

Jason:  Well maybe a reader out there will have his birthday!  If any of you out there share Dave Coulier’s birthday contact Josh.

Is your birthday September 21st? Send me a note, let's be friends!

JoshuaAnd if you live in the Ohio area.

JasonOr if you want to get on Skype with the two of us.

Joshua:  And just hang out on Skype for hours on end.  The circle must be complete.

Jason:  We can start a Full House birthday blog.

Joshua:  Ok, now here’s a question I’ve been asking everyone I interview, but I’m going to change it up a little bit for you.  Everyone hates this one, and you might hate this even worse because it’s going to be a little more difficult for you.  Here it is, describe yourself with a phrase of 7 words or less.

Jason:  My mom named me Jason Edward Lemmon.

Joshua:  Next!  I know you’re a fan of dinosaurs, if you could have, own, any one dinosaur and that would be the only dinosaur alive in existence, which one would you have?

Jason:  Now does this dinosaur for sure act friendly toward me, or do I not know?

Joshua:  It would act, however you would think it would.  Let’s say that you raised it from an egg, so it would be as friendly toward you as it possibly could.  I would be pretty confident that you raising a dinosaur would make it fairly friendly towards you.

Jason:  My initial reaction would be a velociraptor because Jurassic Park made them look pretty badass.  Especially if it was going to be the only dinosaur on Earth, everyone would be much happier with me for selecting that dinosaur since it is the popular favorite.  But even raising it nicely a velociraptor to me seems like it would still kill people.

Joshua:  Yeah I think that would probably still kill people.

Jason:  I guess I’d have to look into the details of the whole situation to decide whether I want the velociraptor or not.  I guess I’d probably need a backup dinosaur now, since I don’t know what they’re going to give me for details.

Joshua:  Yeah, you have no way of knowing what the dinosaur reanimation commission will say.

Jason:  So for backup dinosaur, probably the stegosaurus.  Because it was my favorite as a kid, and I don’t know, it just seems like one of the farthest things from anything in existence today.  So that would be a good one to bring back.

The debate: Would you rather have a raptor or a stego?

Joshua:  That’s a good one, and I like your reasoning, you just don’t see shit like a stegosaurus anymore.  Here’s another question for you, it’s sort of a classical philosophical conundrum.  Button then zip, or zip then button?

Jason:  For pants?  Oh I always zip then button.  Oh wait!  No.  I don’t actually!  That just seems like the way to do it but then now that I think about it I always button then zip.  That is really weird that my reaction was that, it just seems so normal, but then I realized oh wait I do button first.

Joshua:  It’s harder to zip first really, because if you button first . . . .

Jason:  Yeah, then it’s just straight up with the zipper.  And that’s what I always do.  Now you’ve blown my mind!

Joshua:  (Laughing) Good!  I’m glad!  Now Jason the final question I have for you:  Is there any one pop culture subject that you think doesn’t get enough attention?  It could be a band, a movie, a television show, anything or anyone that you’d like to promote and get others to take notice of.

Jason:  I would like to see more attention drawn to the old Mr. Show episodes.  It’s an absolutely hilarious show, you know Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, I own all the seasons and it’s one of the funniest shows I’ve seen, but nobody has seen it.  There’s so many people who say ‘oh yeah I think I’ve heard of it’ but nobody has actually seen it.  I think everyone needs to see that.  And also, I’m gonna actually pick two things because they’re equal, the comedy group Stella is hilarious.  They had a TV show, but before that they were just 5 minute internet shorts.  If you haven’t seen the show, watch the show.  Then if you like the show get online and look those up, because on there it’s not TV and they can do whatever they want and it’s highly inappropriate and ten times funnier.  Then on top of that, their stand up is absolutely ridiculous.  I saw them live and it was one of the best standup events I’ve ever been to.  So watch Mr. Show and check out Stella.

Jason Lemmon says: "You should watch this show! It's funny!"

Joshua:  Thank you Jason for sitting down here with me today, it’s been a pleasure, I thank you for your time sir, and do you have any final words before we end this?

Jason:  Nope.

Joshua:  That is all!

Friday Funny Pages: I Was Wondering Where They Got To

 

Today I grace your sightballs with a few precious panels from Star Wars: The Return of Tag & Bink Special Edition #1.  Written by Kevin Rubio with art by Lucas Marangon, I would dare to say that Tag and Bink are one of the most beloved Star Wars parodies of all time.  They are right up there with one of Rubio’s other Star Wars parody creations Troops.  Both Troops and Tag & Bink have an “in continuity” comedic style that masterfully fills in scenes and details that go unviewed in the movies, and with a hilarious goofball twist somehow it all winds up making perfect sense.  It’s difficult to explain here to the uninitiated, but let’s just say that if you are a Star Wars fan there’s a good chance you will enjoy Kevin Rubio’s take on the universe.  Although if you consider yourself a Star Wars fan and DON’T know who Tag & Bink are there’s a good chance you aren’t really a Star Wars fan.  Oh burn!

And because I was idle for a few weeks here, and missed one or two Friday Funny Pages, I will grace you with a BONUS panel from the issue.  This image takes place a little earlier in the book (as the setting should make obvious) and just happens to feature a small cameo from a character from one of my other sci-fi fandoms, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  Yup, that’s Arthur Dent wandering around on Jabba’s sail barge.  Just another reason I enjoy these books so much and think Kevin Rubio is a genius.

This just gave me a thought.  I know there are plans for a Star Wars comedy cartoon series in the works with Seth Green at the helm, but if they really want that show to work they should get Kevin Rubio involved.  That would be television gold.

Just a suggestion.

That is all!

Occupy Coruscant: Life Imitating Art

Now I don’t claim to know the specifics about the whole Occupy Wall Street movement, nor do I wish to be perceived as having a complete grasp on all the implications of the Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission case.  I’m fairly laid back when it comes to politics and I try to shy away from getting into political debates.  However being a big geek I do enjoy drawing parallels between real life situations and my favorite fictional universe, Star Wars.

When it comes to Star Wars I consider myself something of an expert.  Obviously my love of the movies stems from the original trilogy but I do enjoy the prequels as well, and don’t have quite the feverish hatred for them as some others out there.  In fact one of my favorites of the three prequels, despite the great fount of dissenting opinions from across the opinion-sphere, is The Phantom Menace.  Sure there’s too much Jar Jar, despite that though I found myself extremely engrossed by the scenes on Coruscant and the political environment there.  For as we all knew, this would be the political realm that would usher in the end of democracy in the old Republic, and set up the power base of the nefarious Emperor Palpatine!  One of my favorite additions to the Star Wars mythos in the prequel films was the Trade Federation and its lot of greedy cronies.

For those who might not be as familiar with the movies as myself, the Trade Federation is a large conglomerate of intergalactic corporations and trade guilds run by a central council which is responsible for regulating and overseeing most of the galaxies trade, trade routes, and trade taxation.  Of course there are some checks and balances on the power of the Federation by the Galactic Senate which had the power to propose legislation for or against the policies of the Trade Federation.  The fictional history of the Trade Federation has its origins as a simple commerce lobbying organization associated with the Galactic Republic, however by the time of Episode I the Federation had been monopolized by the Neimoidians and had amassed such power and political sway that the entire entity of the Trade Federation was granted its own representative in the Galactic Senate in the form of Senator Lott Dodd.  Along with other manufacturing and banking conglomerates similar to the Trade Federation lobbying and special interests in the Galactic Senate were brought out from behind the scenes and given full disclosure and equal voice to those of individual star systems and their local populations.

Senator Lott Dod of the Trade Federation addresses the senate

 

Sound familiar?  I remember when I first heard about the Citizens United case, and the phrase “Corporations are people.”  My initial thoughts were, without skipping a beat, “Wow, they just created the Trade Federation.”  Of course corporations having the ability to create political ads is quite a stretch from intergalactic groups of corporations creating standing armies and invading neighboring planets.  Or is it?  Well not really, when you think that companies like Halliburton and others hire private security contractors and their own groups of armed forces to protect military supply lines and logistics outposts.  The number of private, corporate security forces in Afghanistan and Iraq are second in size only to the U.S. military itself.  For more information on that subject check out this LINK.

I’m not sure exactly what I’m getting at with all of this, I suppose that I’m just doing my own small bit of political activism by trying to illustrate how scary the phrase “corporations are people” really should be.  If that mindset is allowed to take hold, what’s to stop it from becoming “corporations are citizens” and eventually becoming “corporations deserve representation.”  I can almost hear the reasoning for it now, that such a move would be able to alleviate the economic sway of special interests over politicians, when in fact it would simply give special interests exactly what they want, a political voice, and more power.  Such things or course are only theoretical, but we already have corporations theoretically being people.  What’s to stop these theoretical ‘people’ from forming theoretical states within states which could then be granted a voice and legislative power equal to the very real individuals who have to then toil for and deal with these over powered and gluttonously wealthy corporations.  People are people and from what I remember in my social studies classes in middle school governments are supposed to exist to support and protect their citizens, not cater to shadowy businesses who have buckets full of money which they can use to sponsor the direction of political discourse.  Ah but what do I know?

That is all!

Friday Funny Pages: Halloween Night Special Edition


Tonight you get 3 comic goodies for the price of one, think of it as a Trick or Treat bonus!  I was planning on having this posted earlier today but as luck would have it the wife had the computer with her for most of the day and our evening was tied up in further Halloween festivities.  So now as I sit here watching the Hammer Films Classic The Curse of Frankenstein and Peter Cushing’s wicked portrayal of the villainous Baron Frankenstein I finally have some time to attend to my blog duties!

Capping off this month of Halloween related comic panels I give you this horror ridden trifecta of images from very different origins.  First off I show to you a brief series of panels from Eric Powell’s The Goon.  This excerpt comes from a short story featuring some of my favorite Goon characters, the filthy gang of street urchins known as the Little Unholy Bastards.  Here we see the LUB’s making their break from the orphanage in order sneak out to do some Trick or Treating.  If you don’t know anything about the Goon, these panels give you some idea what the book is like.  If you find horrid old ladies being beaten by unruly youths to be amusing, then you might want to look into reading more of Eric Powell’s work!

Next up is an image that comes from a comic I’ve had in my possession for over 20 years!  Count Duckula #3, written by Michael Gallagher with art by Warren Kremer this book was one of the first comics I ever purchased.  It was read countless times, became a permanent part of my childhood library, and survived a move.  Surprisingly it is still in decent shape.  I was a big fan of Danger Mouse and Count Duckula as a kid, although there never seemed to be even amounts of airings of Count Duckula to Danger Mouse, so it was always nice to be able to find the count in other media.  This panel exemplifies a bit of Count Duckula’s goofiness as well as hinting at the duck vampires vegetarian diet.  Being that it’s Halloween I thought it appropriate to bust out this old favorite of mine.

Finally we have a recent comic book horror crossover and perhaps several of you out there will already recognize it as being a panel from Marvel Zombies VS Army of Darkness.  Issue #4 to be precise, with words by John Layman and an army of artists including Fabiano Neves, Fernando Blanco, and Sean Phillips.  Here we see Ash, the main protagonist from the Evil Dead series, in the grip of one of Marvel comics baddest baddies, Dr. Doom!  In the story Ash has joined up with one of my favorites, Dazzler, in search of a way to reclaim the accursed Necronomicon and halt the zombie outbreak that has spread throughout the Marvel universe.  Long story short they run into an undead Howard the Duck, travel to Latveria, and meet up with Dr. Doom who of course is something of an expert in the dark arts.  Although the Marvel Zombies run of series has been rather played out as of late, this epic crossover was one of the last truly enjoyable takes on the superhero/zombie genre.

So there you have it, although there is little left now of Halloween keep your thoughts dark and your nerves sharp for you never can tell what lurks around the next shadowy corner!  Happy Halloween!

That is all!

The GIF That Keeps On Giving

I love a good animated GIF.  I’ve been stockpiling links to GIFs that I’ve seen across the web so that I can share them in a blog post such as this.  In fact I was struggling with how to title this blog, titles like “GIF Wrapping” and “The GIF Of Gab” came to mind.  Then I thought about “Don’t Look A GIF Horse In The Mouth” or “GIF Of The Magi” Where I would rank the GIFs on a scale of frankincense, myrrh, and gold.  Ultimately I thought that would take too much time, so I just posted them without flourish.  I wish I knew the procedures to make my own GIFs because I’ve had a few ideas recently, but alas I’m forced to simply admire other people’s handy work as they post them in comments and forum discussions.  I’ve come across quite a few that make me chuckle with their hypnotically repetitive animations of absurdity but we’ll start with the few gems seen below!  Enjoy, and put them to good use!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Is It About The Color Blue?

Recently I’ve received hundreds, possibly even thousands, of emails from readers asking me to write a blog specifying my top 5 favorite blue (the color, not the state of mind) characters from television, film, and popular culture.  This got me thinking, and as I pondered the question I quickly came up with a dozen or so blue individuals off the top of my head from Huckleberry Hound to those blue aliens with the white hair and antennae from Star Trek.  What is it about the color blue that makes it such a prominent shade?  For the complete breakdown of Blue and its various properties refer to this Wikipedia page!

And now, because you demanded it, I give you my Top 5 Blue Characters!

#5 – The Tardis

 

Any Dr. Who fans out there?  The Tardis is an incredibly complex and difficult to understand device.  Capable of traveling across all of time and space, and even occasionally punch its way through to different universes, this home/transport of the mysterious Time Lord known only as The Doctor is under the guise of a big blue British police phone box.  The Tardis is often a welcome sight to the Doctor’s companions.   This strange machine regularly disappears and reappears just as they find themselves in a jam.  Though an inanimate object the Tardis is somewhat conscious and self aware and is just another of the strange characters that crop up in the show, especially in the recent seasons where the Tardis was briefly granted a human form.  I’m not a huge Dr. Who expert but I know enough about the lore to count the Tardis among my top 5 favorite blue beings.

#4 – The Smurfs

 

The Smurfs.  These guys pretty much wrote the book on being blue.  I’ve previously discussed my enjoyment of the Smurfs in other posts, such as my fairly recent Friday Funny Pages which featured the little blue creatures.  This is not to say that I endorse, at all, that recent Smurf abomination which they dared call a “movie.”  The only Smurfs I recognize as legit are those that appear in print or cartoon format.  I don’t really need to go into much more detail about the Smurfs do I?  Either you know who the Smurfs are, or you’re some kind of asshole whom I’d rather not associate with.

 

#3- Deep Blue

 

I love robots!  Especially real robots.  Although Deep Blue is technically not a real “robot”, and is actually a powerful computer, it still was designed to interact with humans to some capacity, so to me was a robot.  Alas I digress.  Deep Blue in both name and appearance, this chess playing son of a bitch could really mate some checks!  The Deep Blue computer was made famous for defeating human chess champion Garry Kasparov back in 1997, which some claimed was the heralding of the robot destruction of mankind.  As we now know that was not the case (though we should remain vigilant and prepare the way for our eventual robotic overlords.)  A shining achievement of computing design Deep Blue was a stepping stone for IBM and lead the way to such creations as Watson, the robot that recently appeared on Jeopardy and defeated Ken Jennings.  Sadly Deep Blue was disassembled shortly after its notable victory, thus depriving Kasparov of a sorely wanted rematch.

#2 – Nightcrawler

 

Kurt Wagner.  Nightcrawler!  This German born X-Man is one of my favorite students of Professor Charles Xavier, and indeed one of my favorite Marvel super heroes of all time.  With the ability to leap around and climb walls well enough to keep up with the likes of Spider-Man, Nightcrawler is also granted the power to teleport from one spot to another thanks to his natural mutant talents.  What’s not to like?  Nightcrawler is a badass who’s also a nice guy.  After awhile you get tired of stoic faced anti-heroes and hard nosed leaders of men.  Occasionally you just want a super hero who can get the job done, who looks cool, and who has a smile on his face.  That’s Nightcrawler.  This was no easy choice for me because there are a shit ton of blue comic book characters, especially X-Men.  There’s Beast, Mystique, Archangel, half the morloks, and several others.  But when it comes to blue super heroes, Nightcrawler has my vote.  As an added bonus ol’ Nighty had a near perfect portrayal in the second X-Men movie, it’s always a relief for us comic book geeks to see our heroes done right on film.

#1 – R2-D2

 

R2-D2, the real hero of the Star Wars saga.  The unassuming little astromech droid with the blue detailing that went on to get involved in one of the most epic interstellar adventures of all time.   You shouldn’t really be surprised that my number one favorite blue character heralds from the Star Wars universe, and I had to choose him for number one due to the major role he plays in the movies.  There are few of our heroes from Star Wars who don’t owe R2-D2 their life.  Being that R2 is a walking toolbox he’s also handy to have around when it comes to repairing equipment, detecting lifeforms, parsing data streams, and picking locks.  R2-D2 has seen quite a bit of action and with the continuing success of the Clone Wars cartoon we are finally getting a good look at just how much action!  With the approaching release of the Star Wars movies on blu-ray there will be renewed interest in the adventures of R2-D2 and the rest of the gang from the galaxy far, far away.  And right about now I’m guessing that R2-D2 is pretty glad he doesn’t speak English, so that he can’t become the nexus of an, added dialogue, George Lucas tinkering, fan base controversy.  As of now R2-D2 remains the same as ever, though some other elements of his surroundings might get tweaked around him.

So there you have it!  Behold the power of BLUE!

That is all!